That's intense
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
