Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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