I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Randomize
