the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
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