I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
