I'm lost and stupid without you.
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
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