Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
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