Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Randomize