My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
