It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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