Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
