Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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