And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I FOUND THE LEGS
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
