I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
