I cannot find my penis.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
