I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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