yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
