she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
