So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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