At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Randomize
