If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
