I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
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