now i know why i became what i already was.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
