If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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