I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
this boner is exhausting
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize