sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
