I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Randomize
