I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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