The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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