you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
