but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Randomize
