He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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