I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
