i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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