O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
