HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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