he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
