singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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