are you so shy because you have an std?
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
As shirtless as possible
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize