i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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