Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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