I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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