It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
