butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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