Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
4 words: hood of his car
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
