Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
