its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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