brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
is it fun? or sober?
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
