also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Randomize
