i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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