I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
hell yes lets make some ravioli
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
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