marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Nicole vs. Life
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
