Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
