I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Randomize